Female President, Ova Office Brett Butler

“A female president – maybe they'd start calling it the 'Ova Office.'” - Brett Butler

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 93.

Ninety-Eight Percent, Decent, Hard-Working, Other Two Percent, Publicity, Elected, Lily Tomlin

“Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.” - Lily Tomlin

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 92.

Single, Born That Way, Mae West

“I'm single because I was born that way.” - Mae West

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 115.

Older I Get, Definition of Maturity, Brett Butler

“The older I get, the simpler the definition of maturity seems: it's the length of time between when I realize someone is a jackass and when I tell them that they're one.” - Brett Butler

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 76.

Keep a Diary, Keep You, Mae West

“Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you.” - Mae West

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 33.

Marriage, Fifty-Fifty Proposition, Men, Percentages, Flo Kennedy

“Any woman who still thinks marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition is only proving that she doesn't understand either men or percentages.” - Flo Kennedy

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 71.

Being a Success, Mediocre World, Lily Tomlin

“Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.” - Lily Tomlin

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 90.

Love, Poverty, Toothache, Mae West

“Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.” - Mae West

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 67.

Fashion Dropout, Harper's Bazaar, Molly Ivins

“Although a life-long fashion dropout, I have absorbed enough by reading Harper's Bazaar while waiting at the dentist's to have grasped that the purpose of fashion is to make A Statement. My own modest Statement, discerned by true cognoscenti, is, 'Woman Who Wears Clothes So She Won't Be Naked.'” - Molly Ivins

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 37.

No Good Deed, Unpunished, Claire Booth Luce

“No good deed goes unpunished.” - Claire Boothe Luce

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 58.

Can't Fight City Hall, Rumor, Audre Lorde

“That you can't fight City Hall is a rumor being circulated by City Hall.” - Audre Lorde

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 91.

More Children, Car Windows, Erma Bombeck

“Never have more children than you have car windows.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 87.

Who's Who, What's That, Phyllis Diller

“I never made Who's Who but I'm featured in What's That.” - Phyllis Diller

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 9.

Obey All the Rules, Katharine Hepburn

“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.” - Katharine Hepburn

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 104.

Men, Marry, Gloria Steinem

“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” - Gloria Steinem

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 72.

My Heart, Driven Slush, Tallulah Bankhead

My heart is as pure as the driven slush.” - Tallulah Bankhead

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 34.

Success, Mediocre World, Lily Tomlin

“Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.” - Lily Tomlin

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 90.

Diary, Keep You, Mae West

“Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you.” - Mae West

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 33.

Fight City Hall, Rumor, Audre Lorde

“That you can't fight City Hall is a rumor being circulated by City Hall.” - Audre Lorde

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 91.

Too Much, Good Thing, Mae West

“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” - Mae West

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 46.