More Children, Car Windows, Erma Bombeck

“Never have more children than you have car windows.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 87.

Fame, Success, Madonna, Helen Keller, Erma Bombeck

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other." - Erma Bombeck

Found on BrainyQuote. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/erma_bombeck_122099.

Mother Asks, Advice, Formality, Erma Bombeck

"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." - Erma Bombeck

Found at BrainyQuote. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/erma_bombeck.html

Solution to End All Wars, Directions, Erma Bombeck

“I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars – let men give directions on how to get there.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 127.

Second Favorite Household Chore, Faint, Erma Bombeck

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 52.

Stand Before God, Used Everything, Erma Bombeck

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Treasury of Women's Quotations, by Carolyn Warner, page 3.

When Your Mother Asks, Formality, Erma Bombeck

"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." - Erma Bombeck

Found at BrainyQuote. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/erma_bombeck.html.

Seize the Moment, Titanic, Dessert Cart, Erma Bombeck

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 42.

Doctor, Plants, Erma Bombeck

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 50.

When Humor Goes, Civilization, Erma Bombeck

"When humor goes, there goes civilization." - Erma Bombeck

Found on BrainyQuote. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/erma_bombeck_131317.

More Children, Car Windows, Erma Bombeck

“Never have more children than you have car windows.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 87.

Fame, Success, Madonna, Helen Keller, Erma Bombeck

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other." - Erma Bombeck

Found on BrainyQuote. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/erma_bombeck_122099.

Child, Individuality, Empty Gin Bottle, Erma Bombeck

“A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 40.

Love a Nation, Celebrates Its Independence, Patriotism, Erma Bombeck

"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism." - Erma Bombeck

Found on AZ Quotes. Read more at https://www.azquotes.com/quote/513368.

Fame, Success, Erma Bombeck

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other." - Erma Bombeck

Found on BrainyQuote. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/erma_bombeck_122099.

Doctor, Office Plants, Erma Bombeck

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 50.

Humor, Civilization, Erma Bombeck

"When humor goes, there goes civilization." - Erma Bombeck

Found on BrainyQuote. Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/erma_bombeck_131317.

Seize the Moment, Titanic, Dessert Cart, Erma Bombeck

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 42.

Seize the Moment, Titanic, Dessert Cart, Erma Bombeck

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 42.

Doctor, Office Plants, Erma Bombeck

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” - Erma Bombeck

Found in Women's Lip: Outrageous, Irreverent and Just Plain Hilarious Quotes, edited by Roz Warren, page 50.